The Beauty of the Unknown

"What's your major?", What do you want to do?, What's your plan? Where do you want to be 10 years from now?"

If you're not sick of getting asked these questions your either not in college or you really have your life together. I remember junior year of high school thinking I knew exactly where my life was going. I would go to UT, become a nurse, work in pediatrics, maybe go to nurse practitioner school, get married to my own Derek Shepherd (R.I.P.) have a family, and life would be great!

I'm a planner. If you know anything about me you are probably laughing at this statement as I'm a sleep-deprived, jumbled, un-organized mess on a day-to-day basis. I'm more of a long-term planner, I like to know my ultimate goal, what's going to happen, 

 I like to know that I am in control. 

I like to feel secure in my life. To know that I'm doing the right things, avoiding the wrong things, being realistic while following my destiny. I like to know. 

But here's the thing: God wants me to rely not on my own feeling of security, but on Him. And sometimes relying on God and not my own power is going to make my life look a little different than the majority of college students. I don't really know what I'm going to do. I'm interested in so many different careers, and I'm just overwhelmed at the thought of committing to one right now. So when people ask me what i'm doing with my life/major/career, I just respond with "I don't know, I'm just gonna wait and see". I used to pity people who would say things like that, so confident in own ability to have my life together.But God didn't want me to have my life together-He wanted to fully have my life! 

It's really hard not-knowing. Not knowing where you're going to college, what your career will be, what sorority you will be in, how well you will do compared to those around you. But Jesus loves when His people don't know, when they have nothing to cling to but Him. Here's something you're going to roll your eyes at-God has a plan and is working all things for the good of those who love Him. We might not know the details of this world, but we know our ultimate destiny, to be one with Him. 

There are so many situations in recent times when I wasn't able to be in control. I was forced to let go of my human-grasp on this life and send it heavenward, letting my Jesus work out the details. And guess what? He did! There have been so many situations that do nothing but scream the name of Jesus, that I never could have planned or even dreamt of myself. 

It's okay to not know what the next year, 5 years, 50 years, etc. will look like. Because as God's beloved children, we are called to fix our eyes on what is to come, the glorious destiny of heaven we get to share with Christ forever. 

There is so much freedom to be found in releasing yourself from the burden of knowing, and submitting to the perfect plans of the King.

Romans 8:28- And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

- Amanda